Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy. Enjoy this collection of seven funny short stories and have fun.
Have a great weekend!
1. You’d be eating alone!
The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading.
After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked, “Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude…?”
After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, “I guess you’d be eating alone.”
2. The world is changing!
“It’s clear” said the teacher, “That you haven’t studied your geography.
What’s your excuse?”
“Well, my dad says the world is changing every day.
So I decided to wait until it settles down!”
Man: My doctor has advised me to give up golf.
Friend: Why? Did he examine your heart?
Man: No, he had a look at my score card.
4. The bribe
A judge enters the court room and starts the proceedings, saying: « Before this process starts in earnest, there is one thing I have to clear first. The plaintiff gave me $ 10,000 so I would rule in their favor. The defendant gave me $ 12,000 so I would rule in their favor. To make this case a fair one, I’m hereby returning $ 2,000 to the defendant. »
5. Taxi driver!
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.
The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the sidewalk, and stopped inches from a shop window.
For a second, everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, “Look friend, don’t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!”
The passenger apologized and said he didn’t realize that a little tap could scare him so much.
The driver replied, “Sorry, it’s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver – I’ve been driving a hearse for the last 25 years.”
Teacher: If you eat fish?
Student: It’s good for my eyes.
Teacher: If you don’t eat fish?
Student: It’s good for the fish!
7. Report card
Jeremy: “My Dad says the price of everything is going up, up, up. Food, clothes,… everything. He says he’d like to see something go down!”
Jim: “Would you like to show him my report card?”